You are clearly a busy person, otherwise, you wouldn’t have such an important phone. How is a person like you supposed to take the time to take in the important news of yesterday that will give you a competitive edge in the marketplace?
The Onion has the solution.
The Onion Microfiche™ application uses digital-capture technology to put a world of previously hard-to-find headlines at your fingertips. Scroll through dozens, hundreds, even thousands of breaking news and ticker headlines that have appeared in America’s Finest News Source. View the most recent or a random set. Mark your favorites. Share them with your friends via email, Twitter, or Facebook.
All this functionality comes in a simulation of analog microfiche technology, making it so simple that even the simple-headed Luddite can use it. 2009 The Onion Inc.
Onion Microfiche Headline Reader reviewed by Users
This is all I do. I don't even use my iPhone to make phone calls, check email, listen to music or browse the web anymore. I just read Onion headlines. It's the best use of funds ever.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 15, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
baratunde
hilarious tons of hilarious headlines, the only possible way i can get thru my work day, well worth 99 dollars, let alone cents
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Version 1.0.0
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Aug 13, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Ed tha eagoee
Can't use it. Demands that my iPod Touch needs a microphone?? Why? What does this app do that needs a microphone?
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 17, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
MacFevre
Know Your Onion For those complaining that these are not the full articles and don't provide a link to the full articles: that's like the reviewers complaining the NPR app doesn't provide links to a rock station. These headlines are from the SIDEBAR of the Onion and only ever CONSIST of funny two-line headlines. There's NOT any articles to go with them. The headlines themselves are what you see and what you get.That said, the app works great and is a much-needed laugh for these troubled times. From newspaper to radio to podcast to video and now an iPhone app: can we expect the Onion to come in easy-to-comsume pill form soon? This area man hopes so!
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Version 1.0.0
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Aug 30, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Little Stuffed Bull
The headlines have always been the strongest part Seriously, how many Onion articles live up to the promise of the headline?
Guaranteed to keep you chuckling and flicking, this app is worth one dollar.
Linking to the articles would be a nice update, and might be worth another.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 16, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
hominid.todd
Works as advertized I cannot understand people who are complaining about this app. It does exactly what it says — displays headlines and allows one to mark favorites and send headlines along to social networks.
It has also sent me into fits of laughter. If you love The Onion, you will love this app. If you do not love The Onion, you may be a Communist.
My only critical comment is that I have noticed a few typos. Okay, I have a second — it distracts me from work and family.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 16, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
giromide
seriously people! Like another reviewer said- this gives the onion sidebar headlines. There ARE no articles to link to.But that aside- to the people whining about 'wasting' 99 cents... Get a life. You own an iphone. You are thus obviously not broke. So even if you are disappointed- it was 99 freaking cents. Get over it.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 18, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
alexroet
Very basic This is not very good. I scrolled through all if the available headlines in about ten minutes. It loads a dozen or so headlines, and after you scroll through them it gives you a screen to "load the next set." It's just a few lines of text, you think they could just load a thousand of the old headlines in there and be done with it. Instead, you need a data connection to browse more than a dozen or so. Worse, the next loaded set contains many repeats from the previous. And even worse than that, it will only load about ten sets before it is out of headlines completely, which is a tiny fraction of the total headlines The Onion has generated over the years.
No search function. No ability to link to the article body.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 18, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Optimus Prune
Disappointed I misread this as well! Be forewarned, you are paying for HEADLINES only. No full stories. Dang! This was my fault, I misread it, but just be sure you know what you're paying for, folks.
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Version 1.0.0
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Aug 16, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Teamhendrix6666
Only Headlines This app is very well designed, and I like the classic "microfiche" look of it, but the app only proves Onion headlines. This is consistent with the app description, so I do not fault the developer, but I was mistaken in buying this app, thinking that it would also include a full "news" story. Not a bad app, but nothing in here is worth a dollar. Save your money and use the free online version of The Onion instead.
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Version 1.0.0
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Aug 14, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
BrittOmnRex
Best part of the onion... in an app To me the best part of The Onion has always been the headlines, I usually just scan those more than I even read the articles... this thing is amusing as hell. Also love the microfiche throwback.
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Version 1.0.0
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Aug 17, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Karrde19
Brilliant! If you own an iPhone you are obviously a very important person like me who doesn't have much time to leisure about and indulge in content that is designed to be consumed in more than a 5-10 second span of time because doing so would probably result in you dinging your Maserati. Thank you Onion Microfiche! Now I can read the Onion and operate heavy machinery at the same time.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 17, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Dasein
A promising start I get the microfiche part (I used to use them in the '80s and '90s), but some essential added-value functionality would be a search/sort function, and linking to the full story (for those headlines which had stories). One of my favorite "no they didn't!" headlines was "Jenna Bush's Federally Protected Wetlands Now Open For Public Drilling", and unless it happens to be in the app (which I haven't seen), there's no way to find it.
Sure, the app is only 99 cents, so I'm wagering that the Onion was hoping to rake it in with volume sales; that price point does seem to be the sweet spot for App Store sales. They could easily achieve this with the abovementioned functionality.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 19, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
SYS 64738
Love it! From the app name (certain generations won't even know the "joys" of microfiche), to the description (you are obviously important), to of course, the content (here's looking at you, o daunting paperclip task), this is a must have if you've an appreciation of sarcasm and need a quick distraction and laugh as you fill those boring little gaps in our lives with just a bit more mirth.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 19, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
weekendHacker
Does what it says it does.... I mistoke this app for an Onion reader. If the could fold this interface into a full on content reader rather then limiting it to the short (but very funny) headlines, it be willing to pay 3 times as much.
I love to read the Onion while I sit in the toilet.
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Version 1.0.0
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Sep 4, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Michael C Taylor
Disappointing All it does is bring up headlines--NO stories! I was hoping for more. As one reviewer said, just pull up the site on your iPhone and read it there.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 16, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Aias
Waste of time and money I also should have read reviews before buying! What a rip off! How about an update guys we want to see the stories.
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Version 1.0.0
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Sep 1, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Allen1177
Disappointed This app should be free due to it's lack of features. Waste of money and I cannot believe it's endorsed by onion.
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 16, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
JamesonWhi
Worthless I expected so much more out of the onion. Does nothing, shows nothing, pointless! You're better off just pulling up the onion online than wasting phone space on this app
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 15, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Bart the lart
onion fan expected more, a few where extremely funny most missed the mark
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Version 1.0.1
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Sep 20, 2009
- Onion Microfiche Headline Reader review by
Archie-Bald
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Onion Microfiche Headline Reader - iPhone News Application You are clearly a busy person, otherwise, you wouldn’t have such an important phone. How is a person like you supposed to take the time to take in the important news of yesterday that will give you a competitive edge in the marketplace?
The Onion has the solution.
The Onion Microfiche™... The Onion - Released: August 12, 2009 - Vote(s): 342
